Starting Again

Since the beginning of 2020, things have been “not quite normal” for most of us. That’s probably the biggest understatement with which to be begin this new blog.

But that’s how it is. Covid-19 has changed things. Life has been different in every way; and we have developed a whole new language to characterise what we have experienced. We have been in lockdown. Self-isolating may or not be optional. Virtual has been added to almost every sentence. We have been socially and physically distant. We have followed a roadmap but not gone anywhere. We have passports we cannot use (and have now expired). We have binge watched in several different languages. We have waited patiently or impatiently for the next slide. We have tracked the R rate. We have added the word global to every statement about pandemics even though it’s not needed. We are expects in spike proteins. Muted is something we have all been at one point or another, whether we meant to be or not. And yes, that is a legacy hand.

A whole new lexicon. Surely fuel for this blogger who looks for writing inspiration everywhere?

Maybe?

Blogging was one of the things that disappeared from my normal. Sharing stories of lockdown life just never felt quite right for me. Social media sometimes felt like a place of accusation and conflict rather than celebration and support; a cause of stress to be avoided. I couldn’t find my true voice. I wasn’t baking banana bread. I was just getting on with trying to stay safe and keep family and friends safe too.

So the blog went quiet.

But quiet isn’t generally a phrase used to describe me.

So perhaps it is fairer to say that my thoughts went unpublished. I didn’t stop writing or thinking about things to write about. I certainly didn’t stop shouting at the radio. I have notebooks filled with scribbles and ideas. I have a journal capturing the highs and lows of most weeks. I have hundreds of lockdown photos.

I may not have been away – the Bottle Kilns have been the defining backdrop for most of the time – but that doesn’t mean time has stopped.

I have reminisced about good days long gone and wondering when they can be repeated. I have made plans for the future. I have caught up with old friends and lost touch with others. I have challenged myself in all sorts of ways but sometimes just stayed in my PJs all day (even on workdays.. camera off). I have spent more time than I should playing Scrabble on my phone and baked too many cookies. I have been to comedy clubs, gigs, theatres, festivals, talks and sports stadiums without ever leaving home. I have celebrated birthdays on Zoom. I have quizzed like never before. I have bought new things and cleared out old stuff. I have experienced a whole range of different emotions, sometimes all in the same day. Angry and content; connected and alone; tired and energised; focused and confused; anxious and calm; brave and afraid.

But I did stop putting my thoughts out into the world.

And that makes me pause, especially since life usually makes more sense when I write.

So the blog is back.

It has a new look and hopefully lots of new content.

There is a life to be lived.

Let’s start again.